The Body is a Temple

The combined austerity and stimulus packages appear to have had the desired effect, but the plan was designed only as a temporary solution, and investors are beginning to lose their patience, noting that the money continues to be transferred into the account at the same dismal pace, while expenditures only continue to rise. The calls for financial solvency are met with reassuring platitudes about the 'inevitability' of an improvement in circumstances, but actual solutions remain evasive.

It has taken several years of excessive alcohol and drug abuse, but it is really starting to seem like the medication is working. Case in point: I figured out I was maddeningly depressed yesterday, and it only dawned on me by observing how long it had been since I took a shower, shaved, and cleared the collection of bottles that accumulates next to my desk (the length, of course, being unacceptable). Why is this significant, you may ask? Simply, the massive cloud of intoxication that floats above my head has finally begun to sedate me on such a long-term basis that I have to sniff my socks to determine my emotional well-being. If that is not a medical success story, I don't know what is. I would also recommend against attempting to smell my socks, even from a distance.

Though the Personal Austerity Package stipulated cuts in my medical costs, the Stimulus counteracted this by delaying implementation. The basic consequence of slashing food expenses while maintaining drug consumption levels is an even stronger plunge into malnutrition, which has advantages (dizziness, easier to get to sleep) and disadvantages (not enough energy to eat an apple).

I've asked the investors to bear with me for just a little bit longer, as I examine adopting more strict austerity measures in the face of a problem that could have been worse than originally thought. According to my budget calculations, the economic crisis is indeed affordable if I cease to provide myself with a disposable income. Other research has indicated that there would be serious side effects resulting from such measures, but it is clear that the present conditions cannot improve without sacrifice. We will see just how long it takes for patience to dissipate entirely.