Ever since the Jews buried fossils across the earth in 1922 to misguide scientists into a dangerous mindset of evolutionary dogma, the mainstream public has been decreasingly accepting of God’s word as described in the first three chapters of Genesis; namely, that God created Adam and Eve (not Adam and Steve!) and allowed them to have children, spawning humanity as we know it.
This week, as always, I will be answering letters from spiritually confused men and women across the country. I hope to dispel any notion of humanity being naturally “good” by giving all of you a taste of just how sinful, ungrateful, and repulsive our species really is. Without further ado, the first letter we have is from Bobby J. in Indiana.
Dear John:
I am a nineteen-year-old Caucasian male who recently started dating a fellow Caucasian female. We are both devout Christians and we would not even think of giving into heathen lustful desires before the day we are married. However, we were wondering if it is acceptable for us to hold hands. It gets difficult to suppress these urges and I hope you will be able to shed some light on the subject.
Bobby J., Indiana
Thank you for your letter, Bobby. Let me say that without question, yes, holding hands before marriage is undoubtedly immoral and must be avoided at all costs. If you at first give into your urges to hold hands with one another, you will no sooner be fornicating without any regard for the sanctity of the relationship which God has commanded all of His children should respect. There is no question that holding hands leads to sin. The only question is how many days after the marriage it becomes acceptable to do so, and whether you may hold hands when the woman is having her period. These are tricky issues where there is no Christian consensus, and I leave it up to you, the reader, to decide.
Dear John:
I was wondering how you could explain the creationist claim that an eye is “irreducibly complex” and therefore must be designed by God if people with a less-than-perfect eye are clearly better off than those who are blind.
Alan R., New York
Alan, you don’t seem to understand the claim that creation-scientists have made! Perhaps you are deliberately misinterpreting it, or creating a false dichotomy so that you can answer a claim that you feel is easily debunked when it was not the claim put forth by those you are disagreeing with. This is what we in logically experienced circles refer to as a “straw man.” Now, I have one simple question for you. If we evolved from monkeys, why do monkeys still exist? Don’t have an answer for that one, do you?
Dear John:
As musical instruments tend to be used to glorify Satan, I prefer music without instrumentation, as I am sure you do as well. However, while listening to my cherished collection of Gregorian chants, I yearned for a beat to be added to it. Do you think that drums are godly additions to the musical experience? Praying for your guidance on this issue,
Joey F., Arkansas
Joey, this is a good question. I think drums are not appropriate, though, because they attempt to make worship seem more 'lively'. Any praise of God does not need to be made more exciting! Additionally, devil-inspired heavy death metal bands use drums, and I don’t believe they are good role models for the type of music we should enjoy and praise God with. However I can understand your pro-percussion sympathies. We need to remember to keep music focused on glorifying God, and not satisfying the urges of sex-crazed young people who can’t enjoy music without a drum being slammed repeatedly in the name of Satan.
Dear John:
My wife recently proposed the option of withdrawing our children from the local public school and homeschooling them herself after our daughter came home worried about global warming. While I have agreed with this, I am curious how we can undo the damage done by the public schools to our children before it is too late.
Liam N., Montana
Liam, you should isolate your children in separate rooms until they renounce any untrue or immoral things they were indoctrinated into believing by the Satanic school system. It is important to take care of these problems irrespective of the means required. Teenagers who believe in global warming are infinitely more likely to become pregnant, shoot heroin, accept money for sexual relations, contract gonorrhea, participate in human smuggling, vote Democrat, and become victims of incest! If this is a future you wish to steer your children away from, you must take action now. I pray for God's awesome strength and guidance for you in completing these goals.
