It's not the way he moves, nor the way he speaks; it's not what he knows, nor who he knows: he makes the calls, and he gets things done. He asks for what he wants, and then he receives it. His wish is your command.
Do you want to be this person? If so, you've probably come to the right place. Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine. His name is Rodney, and he is “the shit.” Whenever Rodney wants something, he vocalises his request. It is then usually accomplished almost immediately. People treat Rodney with respect because his persona and his demeanor, frankly, demand this respect. He is the kind of guy who you might accidentally get into a staring contest with and then get your ass kicked. He is the kind of guy who might, in a bout of drunkenness, spill his half-empty beer on your clothes, and then make you buy him another one. The kind of guy who walks out of fancy restaurants without paying anything, because someone out there, following him around, will cover the tab. I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Do you want to be Rodney? Do you want the spirit of Rodney to penetrate your insides and strike at the very core of your soul, mindset, and personality?
There are two things you need to know about Rodney. Firstly, he doesn't take shit from anyone. In fact, Rodney has a very low tolerance level for other people's rancid bullshit, and takes offence at the assumption that he would care to listen to the ramblings of deluded, lesser beings. Rodney refuses to entertain arrogant fools with serious discourse, and as such, he only needs to speak to people who present some kind of value or worth to him. This enables Rodney to free up more of his time to expand his creative abilities and focus on self improvement. You, too, can score all sorts of extra space on the calendar once you cut out all of the stupid assholes you waste hours talking to on a daily basis! Make people know that they have to be somebody in order to be able to talk to you. Otherwise... they aren't worth it.
Secondly, Rodney is always seeking to better himself, so that one day he can, hopefully, help others. Right now, Rodney is only capable of hurting people, but this has still given him astounding results in many areas, including the aforementioned respect, as well as free coffees from punk teenagers working at the shop next to his house. Nonetheless, Rodney felt it pertinent to devise a number of schemes (he preferred to call it a “raft of proposals,” but was shot down by the editorial board) which, built on the foundations of hope and change, would allow for sweeping shocks to the system. Rodney lay the groundwork to begin Physical Aggression Reform, Psychological & Emotional Abuse Reform, Monetary Theft and Related Assault Reform, and Gratitude & Courtesy Reform. Unfortunately, though these proposals originally began as strong efforts to combat serious problems with Rodney's psyche, the inevitable watering down that occurs in committee made these 'reforms' mostly worthless: just some window dressing for Rodney to show off to his friends. Even worse, Rodney's friends had begun to feel alienated by his egocentric, obsessive, and misogynistic behaviour. They had hoped to stage an intervention, but Rodney spiked their tea with datura before the meeting and fucked them up really nicely for a week or two. By the time people were recovering from their respectively hellish adventures, Rodney had fled town and started a new life somewhere else. Essentially, when efforts at reform proved fruitless, Rodney was left no choice but to change course entirely and seek a better life through other means. You must be willing to do this as well.
The time to make a bold move is now, rather than later. Rationality, logic, and calmness can only get you so far in this cruel world. Take a page out of the old Rodney playbook: disregard what others think, do what feels right; and get the fuck out of there without leaving a trace when you start to cause trouble. Rodney is a smart cookie, and he knows better than to stick around long enough to start paying for the consequences of his actions. A person like you has a lot to learn from a guy like Rodney, so I hope you have found this advice constructive in shaping your own goals for self improvement. This won't be the last you'll hear from me on the subject!
